Forgiveness that hurts

To say “I forgive you” is fairly easy. But to say those words and really mean it, depends on the price you know you will have to pay. In my case, to truly forgive, meant the following:

1. To give up the only life I had known for 22 years.
2. To let her go, knowing she chose another.
3. To allow my reputation to be squandered, while protecting that of the person I once loved.
4. To allow the child we had dreamed and hoped for to be part of her life, and the decisions she will make.
5. To be left with all the financial burden and legal results in its wake.
6. To move from a five-bedroom house to the same size apartment I rented 30 years ago.
7. To believe in hope that I will be totally ok on my own, for the rest of my life if that is what it takes.
8. To allow the sliver of hope that I will manage the courage and find the sacred opportunity to love again, one day.
9. To be as free as the birds of the early morning and to sleep with a clean heart all of my days.